


When Love and Hate Collide

by cyncyn1110



Series: And the Song Goes on [23]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood Addiction, Dean/Sam - Freeform, Def Leppard - Freeform, Hurt Dean, Love and Hate Collide, M/M, Panic Room, S4 E21, Wincest - Freeform, unconditinal love, when the Levee Breaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 18:03:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7184504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyncyn1110/pseuds/cyncyn1110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam has to dry out but Dean suffers right along with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Love and Hate Collide

Dean sat with his ass on the hard concrete and his back against the heavy door of Bobby's panic room listening to Sam's labored breathing. 

How could he have missed this. His brother was a junkie and all Dean had been concerned with was where he was putting his dick. 

He dropped his head into his hands letting it all crash down on him. 

He had failed. 

The most important job he was handed, the one he'd been doing since he was four years old, and he had failed. 

"Dean?" Sam sounded so strung out that it made Dean want to vomit. 

He stood to look through the barred opening in the door and expected to see Sam talking to a Dean that wasn't there. He'd been hallucinating for hours and all Dean could do was sit and watch as Sam conversed with Mary, Alistair, Dean, and even his own younger self. 

This time Sam's eyes were directed at him. The guilt in them tore into Dean, they spoke to the part of Dean that never wanted Sam to feel that way. 

"Hey." One word held so much meaning between them that Sam dropped his head and began to sob. 

"I'm sorry." 

"I know Sammy. We're gonna get you better. I know you don't wanna be in here but you gotta get clean." Dean could hear the strain in his own voice, he knew Sam could pick up how much he hated having to lock him up in there. 

"I can't fight Lilith without it, Dean. I swear it wasn't about Ruby or the power or the blood. It was about you and saving us. That's what it's always been about. I'm sorry I kept it from you but I have to do this. Let me save you." Dean watched his baby brothers eyes and his chest ached at what he saw there. Sam actually believed what he was saying. 

"Sam, I can't let you turn into a monster. I won't. Whatever that bitch promised you it's bullshit." 

"It's not, Dean. The sooner you let me out of here the sooner we can finish this. Maybe we can take a break afterward. Head down to Key West like you always wanted to."

"Key West, huh?" Dean ducked his head and he heard Sam approach the door. 

"Yeah. We'll party all day and have sex all night. Or we can do it the other way around. Doesn't matter Dean. We'll be together. Like we're supposed to." 

For a second Dean thought about it. He could picture them walking through the streets holding hands and not thinking twice about being followed by angels or Demons. Then the image of Sam drinking blood from a possessed human flashed before his eyes. 

"And what will you do for a fix Sammy? What if you can't find it down there?" 

"I can stop, it's just until I finish this. C'mon baby. Just let me out." His voice was a pleading whisper and it rode it's way down Dean's spine making him cold inside. 

"I can't." 

Dean heard Sam slam his fists against the door. "Damnit Dean! Yes you can!" Dean heard him stop and calm himself. "Just... Just open the door, all you have to do is open the door." The last bit was spoken through gritted teeth and Dean knew their talk was over. 

"Dry out Sammy. Then we can talk about the Keys, if you still want that." As he walked away he could hear Sam's cursing. 

"I swear Dean, I'll never fucking forgive you for this!"

"I know Sammy, I'm sorry." The small room behind him erupted in screams and threats but there was nothing Dean could do. 

"You just want to control me! Keep me from being a bigger hero than you! Ruby was right about you, you want to keep me for yourself! You just want me to be your good little boy and wait for you to save the day then reward you with a blow job." 

He climbed the stairs and made it all the way to the old couch Bobby refused to get rid of in the living room before collapsing in a heap of misery. 

His whole body shook with grief while Sam's accusations continued to bounce off of the walls in Bobby's home. 

It felt as if his chest was in a vice, each word added pressure until he thought he was having a heart attack. 

"He's not in his right mind." Dean looked up to see Bobby standing over him holding out a glass of whiskey. 

"Sorry... He's just.... Sorry you had to hear that. Just let him get better and we'll leave." Dean didn't even have it in him to be embarrassed by what Bobby was hearing.

"Well I ain't stupid. I know you two are together. I've always known. That don't matter to me. You boys are my family, I love you both. Now Sam, he's going through it real bad right now so what he's saying, that ain't him. You do know that right?" Bobby sat down in the arm chair across from Dean. 

"I don't know Bobby. The drinking blood stuff is wrong, that I know. But what if he really believes what he's saying. That demon bitch has obviously been in his ear. What if after all of this is done, if it's ever done, he doesn't want me anymore because he thinks I just want to control him. Fuck, what if he's right? Maybe I do try to control him too much. Maybe that's what drove him to this." Dean downed the glass Bobby had filled for him and stood to fill it up again. 

"Boy, are you stupid? All you've ever done is protect him. Hell, you gave your life to bring him back. This is on him Dean. You just hold on. Once he's himself again you'll see it's the addiction talking." 

Dean nodded his head while he poured himself another drink. "I hope so because I meant it Bobby. I won't let him become a monster. Whatever it takes, I won't let it happen."

"Dean...."

"I'm gonna go walk around the yard." Dean could feel Bobby's eyes on him as he left the room and walked through the front door with Sam's screams trailing behind him with each word leaving a scar as it was meant to.


End file.
